she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
