I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
