when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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