Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize