I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize