Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
