it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
