Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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