Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
