did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
