you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
