the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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