So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
