he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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