You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
