So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
