Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
