SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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