think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
