Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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