You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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