why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize