Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
