He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You've changed since you got that strap on
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
dude. I can hear the air.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
