u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
