Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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