Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize