You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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