Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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