oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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