Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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