i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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