I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize