never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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