white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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