They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
