it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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