Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we're so committed to being not committed
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
