Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
