ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
