Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
