In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
