yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
