I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just had sex on a roof
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
