you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
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and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
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I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick