WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..