Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.

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  (703): He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations. http://tfl.nu/6vv2
  Replies (32) Good night (826) Bad night (4018)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.

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  (978): why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk. http://tfl.nu/9kux
  Replies (19) Good night (696) Bad night (2856)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like

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  (757): It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like http://tfl.nu/masc
  Replies (81) Good night (9151) Bad night (1451)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

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  (614): Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party? http://tfl.nu/rikb
  Replies (52) Good night (12859) Bad night (819)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should

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  (609): i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should http://tfl.nu/q5zo
  Replies (25) Good night (4370) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.

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  (614): Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls. (1-614): Which beats the fuck out of good intentions. http://tfl.nu/vjhv
  Replies (30) Good night (5962) Bad night (822)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

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  (206): woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night http://tfl.nu/9u90
  Replies (14) Good night (6336) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to

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  (443): I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to http://tfl.nu/dg5k
  Replies (2) Good night (1183) Bad night (3549)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk

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  (407): Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk http://tfl.nu/aifa
  Replies (14) Good night (5333) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..

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  (785): this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car.. http://tfl.nu/jqo1
  Replies (5) Good night (686) Bad night (3006)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero

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  (928): He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero http://tfl.nu/1qw2
  Replies (6) Good night (707) Bad night (2289)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message

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  (719): If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message http://tfl.nu/usun
  Replies (1) Good night (1259) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30

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  (254): I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30 http://tfl.nu/3ama
  Replies (12) Good night (686) Bad night (2476)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.

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  (306): the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public. http://tfl.nu/n2ze
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...

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  (905): i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head... http://tfl.nu/72nr
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (231)

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