whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize