Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.

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  (614): There is a man walking 2 goats through the city. (614): Bonus: only one of them was on a leash. http://tfl.nu/ht0h
  Replies (27) Good night (3622) Bad night (640)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  you definitely have a few illegitimate kids

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine

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  (407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids (1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine http://tfl.nu/6feu
  Replies (32) Good night (3684) Bad night (1710)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

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  (804): Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009. http://tfl.nu/yk6t
  Replies (49) Good night (5744) Bad night (1412)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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  (414): I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets http://tfl.nu/vdn6
  Replies (14) Good night (1158) Bad night (3920)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins

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  (215): thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins http://tfl.nu/qdth
  Replies (6) Good night (4824) Bad night (1219)
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  (619): View more from California

  After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.

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  (619): After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation. http://tfl.nu/dnza
  Replies (10) Good night (3138) Bad night (795)
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  (950): View more from

  The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.

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  (950): The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching. http://tfl.nu/hw3q
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (1094)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm

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  (585): Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm http://tfl.nu/bhwz
  Replies (9) Good night (674) Bad night (3525)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.

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  (830): Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it. http://tfl.nu/ngu5
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (494)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.

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  (214): Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds. http://tfl.nu/9ird
  Replies (6) Good night (1064) Bad night (478)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.

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  (314): Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night. http://tfl.nu/wauu
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (1050)
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  (805): View more from California

  I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.

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  (805): I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore. http://tfl.nu/x6ui
  Replies (3) Good night (890) Bad night (362)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?

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  (803): Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick? http://tfl.nu/r3gk
  Replies (4) Good night (1576) Bad night (425)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  its good to be home.

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  (985): drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye. (985): its good to be home. http://tfl.nu/5qd5
  Replies (4) Good night (983) Bad night (407)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.

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  (806): You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom. http://tfl.nu/3eq1
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (320)

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