He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize