Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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