we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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