My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
