How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
