Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if i died would you start the facebook group?

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  (330): if i died would you start the facebook group? http://tfl.nu/beoo
  Replies (27) Good night (4422) Bad night (1204)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7

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  (201): In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7 http://tfl.nu/idur
  Replies (153) Good night (1594) Bad night (4544)
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  (949): View more from California

  you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.

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  (949): you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application. http://tfl.nu/ha6k
  Replies (7) Good night (3723) Bad night (995)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.

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  (215): The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng. http://tfl.nu/fp0t
  Replies (14) Good night (4781) Bad night (849)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out

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  (253): Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out http://tfl.nu/bygf
  Replies (4) Good night (6596) Bad night (1019)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?

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  (405): Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin? http://tfl.nu/sa7c
  Replies (12) Good night (3075) Bad night (1187)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.

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  (970): Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them. http://tfl.nu/rk1i
  Replies (9) Good night (1612) Bad night (820)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..

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  (708): just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car.. http://tfl.nu/c49r
  Replies (12) Good night (2047) Bad night (1298)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk

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  (203): Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk http://tfl.nu/skkt
  Replies (16) Good night (722) Bad night (1406)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.

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  (260): I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much. http://tfl.nu/tatw
  Replies (5) Good night (1058) Bad night (511)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.

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  (417): Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/mh6q
  Replies (4) Good night (944) Bad night (469)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.

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  (952): I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous. http://tfl.nu/ct4x
  Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (342)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece

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  (907): That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece http://tfl.nu/9o1k
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (329)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.

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  (570): Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid. http://tfl.nu/yx4k
  Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (276)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.

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  (240): My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems. http://tfl.nu/4b6z
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (343)

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