Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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(519): View more from Ontario

and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.

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(303): View more from Colorado

wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(905): View more from Ontario

If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.

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(319): View more from Iowa

THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

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(773): View more from Illinois

All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum

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(206): View more from Washington

BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*

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