She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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