like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
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Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
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You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.