Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think i peed on brittanys purse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I think i peed on brittanys purse http://tfl.nu/cbx1
  Replies (10) Good night (1983) Bad night (1485)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner. http://tfl.nu/bzec
  Replies (9) Good night (4105) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink. http://tfl.nu/r79d
  Replies (11) Good night (1191) Bad night (3376)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home. http://tfl.nu/gpi6
  Replies (32) Good night (8435) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon. http://tfl.nu/t979
  Replies (41) Good night (8706) Bad night (2737)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry. http://tfl.nu/qm28
  Replies (9) Good night (4859) Bad night (1407)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right? http://tfl.nu/koz9
  Replies (6) Good night (2025) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery http://tfl.nu/njc1
  Replies (8) Good night (1546) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up. http://tfl.nu/6z0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1731) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now. http://tfl.nu/mmi9
  Replies (1) Good night (1423) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it. http://tfl.nu/j2gr
  Replies (5) Good night (1610) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left. http://tfl.nu/7vi5
  Replies (4) Good night (1273) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can" http://tfl.nu/nm9b
  Replies (5) Good night (825) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I felt the need to accentuate it....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for. (423): I felt the need to accentuate it.... http://tfl.nu/t7pe
  Replies (1) Good night (794) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up.... http://tfl.nu/j4oi
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (327)

Randomize