Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
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I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?