Having a random hookup so left but love u
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
