you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
