I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
