i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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