So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
