i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
