What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
