I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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